Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
