I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
