I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
