I'm gonna have a badass scar
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
