Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
