Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
