please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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