The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
