why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
