Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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