For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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