Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
