I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
