I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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