She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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