I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
