I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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