My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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