Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
