what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
