So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
