We should be called the Road Head Warriors
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
