i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
