this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
My liver just had a heart attack.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize