we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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