if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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