I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
