Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize