My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
