what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
