I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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