The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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