I am puke
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
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