Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
