You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I will be naked everywhere
My liver just had a heart attack.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
