Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
