She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just want to make out with him forever
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Randomize