I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
