i just wanna soil my oats bro
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I am never drinking with the goths again.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
