Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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