it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
