Whod you bang
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
