I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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