your thong is hanging out like whoa
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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