u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I have aggressive nipples.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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