I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
