Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
