So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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