That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
