I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Randomize
