Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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