you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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