You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
