I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
