Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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