So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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