yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
