dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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